So, it was shaping up as kind of a fun off-season. It looked like the Pittsburgh Pirates were actually TRYING for once. Gregory Soto, Ryan O’Hearn, Brandon Lowe… OK, they weren’t bringing in perennial all-stars, but they immediately upgraded the Pirates’ roster better. And there were whispers that more moves were still on the way. It looked like the front office had finally gotten the message that it was time to put up or shut up.
And then… Kyle Tucker to the Dodgers. Four years… $240M.
That’s right. $60M a year for a guy who’s certainly GOOD (the 4.6 WAR he put up in 2025 is the lowest since becoming a full-time starter), but I’m not sure there’s too many people who think of Tucker as a “face of the franchise” type of player. But hey, the Dodgers have the money and want a few more toys, so that’s what’s going to happen.
And all of the sudden, as a Pirate fan, it feels like being thrown in a cold shower. Fuck you for daring to even hope things could be better. Fuck you for caring at all as a fan. Your team exists merely for the Dodgers (and a few other teams) to have someone to play against, and to develop players to fill their shopping list when they have an opening. And that’s just how it’s going to be.
Look, I know Bob Nutting gets a lot of heat for being cheap, and that’s absolutely PART of the problem. “Sell the team, Bob!” Yeah, yeah, yeah… makes for a clever slogan and earns some cheap points, I suppose. Put it on a T-shirt, make a few bucks. But guess what. Bob Nutting can sell the team tomorrow, and whatever Imaginary Friend people have concocted to “Save the Team” isn’t going to magically make the Pirates’ local media deal $200-250M more lucrative. If teams can outspend you to the point where you can’t even make a profit (these teams are still businesses, after all), and then just throw in another $100M for shits and giggles… while I don’t feel SORRY for Bob Nutting, I do feel sorry for the fans who get sold a bill of goods year after year.
I’ve had enough of being gaslit about how broken a system is in the “real” world, don’t need it in my sports fandom too, thanks. I look at the NFL and NHL delivering a compelling product even with a salary cap, and if I say “why can’t baseball just do THAT?” I get an army of scolds asking me “wHy Do YoU sUpPoRt ThE bILlIoNaIrEs?” I don’t. I support ME as a FAN, being offered an entertainment product that isn’t a fucking joke. I don’t care how the billionaires who own the teams and the millionaire who play for them — ALL of whom make more money than I’m going to make in my working lifetime — divide the money. (Though as an aside, I think they all need to do better by the guys in the minors.)
At some point, fuck it. Either institute a salary cap — yes, with a FLOOR too so that Cheap-Ass Bob Nutting has to invest in the product — or just dissolve MLB and have the Dodgers play the Savannah Bananas 162 games a year. They’ll get the spectacle they want and the rest of us can stop caring about an entertainment product that clearly doesn’t care about us as fans.
Mental Zoomies 